Article Share: One wife, four husbands – if it’s good for the man..

This kind of cracked me up. I think this is an interesting way of getting the point across, though doubtless – many will miss that point. :: sigh ::

http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2009/12/16/94383.html

Can’t you see it now?

“I needed a new one, my first just didn’t satisfy me.. He said 60 pairs of shoes was enough. Hmph! Don’t I have the right to get what I need?”

” Well, I have three, but they don’t make enough money. I’d like to go on a trip around the world, and they just aren’t good enough providers, ya see?”

“All they ever do is sit around watching sports.. They never pick up their socks or give me attention. My next one is going to be gay!”

Or even worse:

“He’s gone bald, I don’t find him attractive anymore.”

” He can no longer function in bed. Why do I want a man who has to use a pill?”

Of course, we can’t forget one of their favorite quotes:

“Well, it is in a man’s nature to share. They don’t get as jealous as we do, right?”

PSHHHHHT!! Bullshit! 😛

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9 responses to “Article Share: One wife, four husbands – if it’s good for the man..

  1. You’ve gone too far this time…Heretic! 🙂

    But, seriously…in most older cultures wasn’t the whole multiple-wife thing actually an honorable way for people to support widows and their children in populations with a high male mortality? I know that was the reason that the early Mormons allowed polygamy, because so many of the male Mormon settlers died either en route or after settling in Utah, which otherwise would have left widows destitute. (I don’t know what Bill’s excuse is ; )

    Something I have noticed about Muhammad was that He was very much like Jesus in that He often made very sly comments and offered multi-layered lessons, and I think the laws about multiple wives is one of those. Didn’t He allow multiple wives providing that you had to treat each of them absolutely equally? The ulterior lesson being isn’t that really impossible to do? (As Bill finds out all the time).

    • Yes, in my opinion, the law allowing a man to have multiple wives was kind of self-nullifying. It says, “okay fine.. BUT..”

      In this day and age, there really is no excuse, and again (IMHO) – is 99.999% of the time seriously abused for pathetic reasons that men can get away with in these patriarchal countries – simply by virtue of being men. No other valid reason required.

      It would be interesting to see their logic crumble on their commonly used excuses if the tables were turned which, I believe, is what the article is trying to do. 🙂

  2. One over-arching aspect of the whole plural marriage-thing is that it seems that two things are true: We are urged to actually think for ourselves concerning many issues – NOT wait for judgment to be handed down from some self-proclaimed ‘source,’ but to consider what these spiritual realities mean for “us” as individuals. For example, whether or not a person can truly treat multiple spouses on an equal basis is not really a congregational decision, but a truth we are meant to find within ourselves.

    Also, the somewhat nebulous nature of the pronouncement allowed an ‘adjustment period’ – and I think it was wise. It allowed those who had plural marriages to continue to honor their commitments without being ostracized for adhering to antithetical beliefs. (The same thing occurred for Baha’is between the plural marriage allowances of the Babis and monogamy of the Bahai’s). But, yes, I think we were meant to come to certain conclusions on our own, and grow spiritually in doing so.

    Ultimately, what does a person really learn if they simply follow laws that they may or may not agree with out of blind obedience? I think true faith is understanding the ‘why’ and thus ensuring being truly committed to following those truths.

    • I do agree with you, but sometimes I think a person’s desire to be in a relationship with someone else clouds their thinking facilities.

      They see a pretty woman, think ‘what’s the harm, I AM allowed three more’, and after that, the brain just shuts down. They already have their ‘permission‘. If anyone tries to argue with them, they just bring out the religious ‘justifications‘ (often reinforced through the ages by men also going through what this one is) for what they do.

      If anyone then tries to say these scholars in later years may have been tainted by their personal desires to preserve something no longer appropriate (due to original factors and reasons no longer existing) – then the person disagreeing with plural marriage is labeled a heretic for denouncing the ‘halal‘.

      Just a big mess. All I can say is THANK GOD that most Islamic countries don’t recognize these plural marriages as legal, and their mainstream cultures have come to the point of frowning upon them.

      • Of course, you still get the dissenters that use the same old arguments..

        “Well, it’s better for a man to have a wife than a mistress!”

        “It’s better to share one good man than have a crappy one all to yourself”

        “Your husband is so wonderful, don’t you feel bad about not sharing him with some poor, unloved women?”

        “Your wife shouldn’t be so selfish of you”

        “The other wife/wives can help with stuff around the house.. They can take off some of the burden from you”

        All of which I think are BULLSHIT.

  3. Ultimately, faith is about controlling our animalistic behaviors and doing what pleases God. I never beleive that God ‘tricks’ us, but I do believe He gives us challenges to overcome, and to grow spiritually in doing so. Some overcome the challenges, some don’t but it is a flaccid excuse to blame it on not having more than one wife. it is because of their own ethical failures.

    And this brings us to yet more layered revelations: How can a person be expected to treat a spouse in the way they should if they have been joined in an arranged marriage with someone they would not otherwise choose for themselves? And yet despite this arranged/forced marriages are the norm in many places in the world (Muslim and otherwise). Shouldn’t we also take from this some instruction in the process of choosing one’s mate? That a potential mate’s character, integrity and personal convictions should be the utmost, to not only exclude false pretense in marriage, but the exclude the possibility of a partner going astray?

    It’s sad that the meaning gets lost in the legalism. In this respect I have to say that Judaism & some aspects of Islam are indistinguishable, with the possible exception that Jews can (and will!) argue over the very meaning of a letter in a word in the Torah and yet still not be haram or bid’ah – they simply disagree. The blind adherence to dogma is always frightening for what it does to legitimate faith.

    Multiple wives to prevent a husband from going astray?? How about if the man just rears up on his hind legs and acting like a man, instead?

  4. Here’s some info I found on choosing a mate.. Of course, it tends to be largely ignored. Often you hear of a man primarily looking for a woman who is beautiful, and a woman’s family looking for a doctor or engineer, meaning – someone who is ‘rich’.

    Some of what I found:

    When a man came to Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to seek guidance for selecting a spouse. He (s.a.w.) said, “It is binding upon you to have a religious spouse.”

    Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has forewarned, “A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one who marries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes (unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things for one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness).”

    B. Good nature: Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if it was advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature, “If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don’t marry your daughter to him.” The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such a woman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life of her husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties that arise in married life.

    C. Compatibility: Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage, he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must be Kufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivings later. It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws and principles to marry a man like herself.

    A man questioned Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), “Whom must we marry?”
    He replied, “The suitable (matches).”
    “Who are the suitable matches?”
    Holy Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) responded, “Some of the faithful are match for others.”

    Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, “An intelligent and wise woman must not be matched except with a sage and wise man.”

    (Source: http://www.ezsoftech.com/omm/handbook.asp)

  5. Okay, pardon the wordiness, but I think this is interesting in that it address the mysticism of marriage and it’s a really beautiful commentary on marriage, in general.

    “Marriage, among the mass of the people, is a physical bond, and this union can only be temporary, since it is foredoomed to a physical separation at the close.

    Among the people of Baha, however, marriage must be a union of the body and of the spirit as well, for here both husband and wife are aglow with the same wine, both are enamoured of the same matchless Face, both live and move through the same spirit, both are illumined by the same glory. This connection between them is a spiritual one, hence it is a bond that will abide forever. Likewise do they enjoy strong and lasting ties in the physical world as well, for if the marriage is based both on the spirit and the body, that union is a true one, hence it will endure. If, however, the bond is physical and nothing more, it is sure to be only temporary, and must inexorably end in separation.

    When, therefore, the people of Baha undertake to marry, the union must be a true relationship, a spiritual coming together as well as a physical one, so that throughout every phase of life, and in all the worlds of God, their union will endure; for this real oneness is a gleaming out of the love of God.

    In the same way, when any souls grow to be true  believers, they will attain a spiritual relationship with one another, and show forth a tenderness which is not of this world. They will, all of them, become elated from a draught of divine love, and that union of theirs, that connection, will also abide forever. Souls, that is, who will consign their own selves to oblivion, strip from themselves the defects of humankind, and unchain themselves from human bondage, will beyond any doubt be illumined with the heavenly splendours of oneness, and will all attain unto real union in the world that dieth not.

    As for the question regarding marriage under the Law of God: first thou must choose one who is pleasing to thee, and then the matter is subject to the consent of father and mother. Before thou makest thy choice, they have no right to interfere.

    Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity….

    The true marriage of Bahá’ís is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God. This is Bahá’í marriage.”  

    (Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 117)

  6. That IS very nice 🙂

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